What is the witness and why should you engage it?
You reach for your phone, an email just came in “sh%t I forgot to get to this yesterday” you think. You scroll through your Facebook feed, posts of a potential lockdown (if it hasn’t already begun) again. You click on your notifications, someone has just made a comment about what you just shared on Instagram “how dare he/she?!” you are fired up and ready to blast your response. Meanwhile a flood of WhatsApp messages pinging that you have to sift through. You are now thinking about meeting you have today with your boss. You are triggered and like an overfilled kettle boiling over, your mental and emotional state is a mess and…the day has not even started yet.
With all that is happening in your life, you feel like a pinball rolling down the playfield, bumping against drop targets, bash toys as the flippers keep propelling you back upwards into chaos. You fight a losing battle, gravity eventually pulls you back down into gutter..game over.
You pause and suddenly realise..wait a minute, this is all a game! Rather than slot in another coin in to this metaphorical pinball machine… you take a step back. You suddenly witness your actions and reactions from a different vantage point.
You gain objectivity.
What is the witness?
The witness is really your higher consciousness and more evolved self. Free from false belief patterns, biasness and *mental filters.
It is your source of objectivity, clarity of thought, compassion with yourself and others.
So how can you better manage your thoughts and emotions?
Well first thing, maybe not check your phone the moment you wake up! The night before, put your phone on airplane mode (I do this at 815 pm) and decide the next morning when to turn off airplane mode (maybe 8am, 9am during your commute on the train/bus).
Next, use this process called the WIRM - Witness, Interdict, Redirect, Maintain.
Before you start this process, you must first identify the trigger for the experience (is it someone, a recurring situation or maybe a fear). After all, the first step to change is awareness.
To activate the witness, there needs to be space and the space between you and the experience/situation is your breath. To get that space, you can apply the 3 breath rule (5 secs in 5 secs out) to allow a moment to pause and respond instead of react or lash out. If you are faced with someone, you can even say '“give me a few seconds.” and take your 3 breaths.
The process…
Step 1: WITNESS
When triggered pause for a moment and take 3 deep breaths and almost imagine zooming out, rising above and looking down at yourself maybe even the back of your head or the whole situation at play. Be conscious and begin being aware of the negative loop you are falling into (you know where this road often leads to).
Step 2: INTERDICT
Pre-determine a power statement. For example STOP!… BULL SH%T!.. NO! whatever works for you. Vocalise your chosen power statement as loud as you can in your mind to break the thought pattern.
Step 3: REDIRECT
Identify your higher/future/more evolved self. Focus on resolution of the current situation, who you really want to be and what you would like to achieve. To be at peace, find happiness and gratitude in all that you have in your life.
Step 4: MAINTAIN
Pre-determine a mantra that you would use. For example YOU’VE GOT THIS!…EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY I AM GETTING BETTER…EASY DAY (insert your name)!
Vocalise and repeat this mantra in your mind.
The next piece is to use the OODA loop immediately after. OODA stands for Observe (what you have just done), Orient (ascertain what the best next step is), Decide (make the next best decision), Act (get it done). I will get to this in another blog post.
This will take conscious practice and just like learning how to do a new exercise and creating muscle memory, it’s the same with the WIRM. It’s a disciplined process and although you might take a bit of time to go through each step, realise that the more you use it, the faster it will be and natural it will feel. You will easily be able to get yourself out of negative thought patterns in a matter of seconds.
Accept the fact that you cannot control what happens around or to you BUT you have full control of what happens within you, and the meanings you give it. When faced with a challenging situation, think of the image of the little worm (and WIRM) above. Start to gain awareness to your triggers or trip wires…trip less, and then eventually not trip at all.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” And that space? The breath…. and your witness.
*Mental filters - Through our five senses, “we filter around 2 million bits of information per second down to 7 plus or minus 2 chunks of information.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, which equates to approximately 134 bits per second. We do this through a process of deletions, distortions and generalisations
Deletions - When it is necessary to concentrate our energy on a particular task, we delete every other perception to help us focus on what we consider most crucial. Example: Focussing on on using the zebra crossing safely while traffic and the world around us whizzes by.
Distortions - We come up with our own interpretation of reality, and we end up distorting its meaning. When we look for meaning in events and communications with other people, we very often end up 'seeing things which do not actually exist'. Example: Your colleague didn’t look up when you greeted him, you assume that he must be angry with you.
Generalisation - We make false assumptions based on the experience that we’ve had that follow a similar pattern. Example: Your ex cheated on you and your friend recently had the same experience. You automatically assume that “all men are liars.”
To dos..
Decide on a power statement that will break your thought pattern (Interdict)
Decide on a mantra that you use to maintain positivity (Maintain)
Live A.W.A.K.E,
Luke
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